at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
