It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
