Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
