last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
