im drinking this country out of the recession.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
