I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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