You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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