I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
