Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
