They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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