Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
