I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
