her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize