haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Randomize
