Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
