btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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