im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
