That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
