so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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