Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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