he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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