8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
