please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
