VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
