I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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