you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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