he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
