what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
