Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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