he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
