whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
