Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
