if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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