don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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