He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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