oh god the rape fog is back!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
