I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
