Hey man sorry I got all grabby
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
