I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
