Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he puts the penis in happiness.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She's the barista slut.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
