You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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