i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We have started to decorate penises.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize