If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
