see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
