so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
