no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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