you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
