where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
