i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
