My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
