i think i have two assholes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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