no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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