I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
