yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Be still, my beating vagina.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
